About the Unconnected Child

cryingchildHumans are the most advanced toolmakers in nature. The main reason is that they are the less specialized organisms. They need tools to survive.

People are also the most complex organisms in nature. This complexity makes it possible to invent new possibilities and to work with specialized tools and animals (horse, cow, hammer, car, computer) and of course other humans.

To create new tools we use the sequence Copy, Experiment and Adjust. We use “What is available”, “Try things out” and and “Improve the Tool”. There is a Limit to the Process of Improvement. At a certain point in time the tool cannot be improved. The next step is that the tool is split up into an infrastructure and features. The featurers are again improved. A good example is the Car. Its Essential infrastructure is finished. All cars are “The Same Inside”.

Humans are great copiers and in childhood we copy the behaviour (the tools) of our parents.

A very sad situation is created when Our parents are not Connected. They are having arguments and conflicts. They are in competion and in competition there are a few Winners and many Losers.

The unconnected child operates from inner turmoil. Down deep this child feels something important is missing in his self and he is angry about it. This feeling may continue into adulthood. This void is likely to reveal itself as anger toward himself and parents, placing everyone at risk for becoming an angry family.

The connected child, growing up with a sense of well- being will get angry, but he learns to handle the anger in such a way that it does not take over his personality.

Connected parents know their children well, so they are less likely to create situations that provoke them and their children to anger. Attached parents know they don’t have to be harsh to be in control. They stimulate Experimentation and are happy when the child Adjusts its Behaviour. They are collaborating and know that the Playing the Infinite Game is much more important than Winning The Game.

When the unconnected child is an adult he will look at every situation out of an Unconnected Perspective. He will do everything to prevent that the people surrounding him will get out of connection. He will be a perfect peacemaker or coach.

But deep within he is unconnected to himself, his Essential Infrastructure. He will do everything to solve this and in the end he becomes a perfectionist demanding almost incomprehensible energies of himself to show that he is doing the right thing.

If this goes on the unconnected child will collapse. The Stress of demanding too much will take the body into a state of disconnection. First his body will generate Signals (Tired, Headache) but he will ignore them because he has to go on. If he ignores the signals the body will start to use its internal Resources to compensate. If these Resource are gone the body will be burnt-out and severe diseases will appear.

How can the unconnected child help himself?

The best way is to reverse in time and start all over again.

First disconnect with the parents that were disconnected.

Give their troubles back to them but with Love.

Then connect to the Child before it was Born and give it the Love it Deserves. After that the process of Copy, Experiment and Adjust can start but now he can Copy the Tools of people that are Playing the Infinite Game.

They know that The State of Perfection is never reached and new features will always be created.

Be your own Father and Mother and Love the Child Within.

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